My Mental Health Journey: Lessons in Balance, Business, and Sobriety

Mental Health Awareness Month

It's mental health awareness month, and at this stage, I realise that I'm experienced (a nice way of saying old) enough to discuss at least my mental health journey, if not qualified to discuss mental health.

It's a good time to chat about the last couple of years, as a lot has changed for me, and more importantly, I've learned a great deal about myself as a person and a man. It's something that we're not really taught as young kids, talking about feelings or life struggles, as a guy from Paisley. But as you get on a bit, you realise this isn't your fault, and if you can learn to talk about these things, it helps, often more than you'd think.

For all manner of reasons, but one of the most important - especially in today's social media-centric world - is that you begin to realise that you are not alone in your struggles. Men have feelings, too. Who'd have thought it?

The Struggle Is Real

I've noticed that as life gets busier, as you gain more responsibility and juggle more, it's your health, and by proxy, your mental health, that begins to suffer first. Leave it parked for long enough, as you let everything else get priority, and it can soon seem like even the simplest of things can get on top of you. 

The comedian Jimmy Carr recently said, 'Everyone wants the view, no one wants the climb.' And although poignant, I didn't instantly relate to it. Sometimes, the view seems so far out of reach that it isn't worth considering. When I was made redundant in 2023, it was hard to gain perspective with the challenges faced by people in my age group (mid-forties...baulk). This triggered feelings, like uncertainty, worrying about bills and our kids and then the pressure - primarily if you feel you can't provide. It's all very unnerving.

The thing I hadn't expected from losing my job was my identity. Ok, not my identity per se, but my sense of self, at least a little and more than I'd care to admit. If you work in the same place for a long enough time, it feels like your brain eventually believes that you are that person: that company, those people, that job, essentially. But you aren't. And that is what I've learned over the past twenty months. When you're confronted with significant change, you get to rewrite the book on what happens next. And a lot of that comes from within.

Let's Ready Sweat Go

I started Ready Sweat Go to help busy people live well and help with the constant juggle of life. A business for me to get my teeth into and invest time doing something that I loved and help people to do what they loved, while looking after themselves. It also allowed me to raise some money for charity, doing last year's coast-to-coast challenge for Launch Foods. I didn't know it then, but this was a double win for my mental health, as all the training helped keep me focused and raising the money for charity gave me a sense of pride and drive to keep going. 

You Can Do Anything: Just Maybe Not Everything

I should add, in case it's not apparent, that it's quite stressful when you take a gamble, spending your savings and redundancy pay on starting a new business. That's the understatement out of the way! Then, after a while, you come to terms with the fundamental fact that profit lives far away from the bank balance of new start businesses. I realised that something had to give.

So, I took on a part-time job to help steady the ship. A great role where I got manage a sports club at the heart of the local community and, in doing so, help shape the future of that club and everyone it touches. I wanted to utilise my skills in a way that benefits others, not just for personal gain.

But just when I thought I had everything sorted, new business on the go and new job etc. I noticed that I began not to feel good, like I was back at the start of my redundancy all those months ago.

After much reflection and chatting with people, the reality was that the juggling act of being a father, husband, business owner and employee is a lot - especially if not managed correctly. I had taken on too much. I gave up the new job; we all have our limits; lesson learned. 

Managing My Mental Health - Grand Challenge 2025

I certainly don't have all the answers, but it's become clear that my feelings are usually right and need more attention than I thought. Something that would have been alien before. As you would appreciate, life still involves a fair amount of juggling. And with it all going on and to help with some mental clarity, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. No small task granted, but a part of me has realised that I no longer have the time to give it. 

As I write this, I've not had an alcoholic drink for 45 days. It doesn't seem like much when I type that, but it feels like a lot when I consider how much more time I have, more sleep, infinitely more time, especially at the weekend, better, clearer thinking and less stress and anxiety. I wonder why I didn't do it sooner. I'm not sure for how long, maybe for good, but definitely for a good while. The benefits of not drinking seem to be far outweighing the benefit (or is that perceived benefit?) of drinking. 

To wrap up, here are some of my 'Mental Male' tips for looking after your mental hygiene (Is that a thing? If not, I'm making it one):-

• When you're doing something new, it can be good to acknowledge that you're in the middle of something, it's not always about the destination.

• You probably don't have all the answers, so try to prioritise your mental health and then do what you can afterwards. You'll be in a better place to approach life's challenges.

• Balance your commitments; you can do plenty, but make sure it works for you, without burnout. Remember 'You can do anything, you just can't do everything'.

• Letting go of perfection and embracing progress. It's better to move slowly in the right direction than move quickly in the wrong one.

• If you're struggling, speak up, take a step back, or start over — whatever you need to protect your peace and keep moving in a direction that's right for you.

• Reminder: Mental health isn't about being strong all the time — it's about being honest with yourself.

I've broken it down into three pillars: family, business and health. All I need to do is concentrate on those things without letting them overrun me. And if they do, make it to an endpoint where you can find balance again. 

Time Out

Taking some time out, we're currently on holiday in Lanzarote, my first holiday abroad without booze since I was a kid in Mallorca with Mum and Dad, probably nearly thirty years ago. When we arrived at our little Lanzarote villa, in the hallway, there was a plaque on the wall that read, 'The Joy Is In The Journey.' 

Jimmy Carr is right. No one wants to climb; they just see the view and would rather have that. I don't have all the answers. However, if you can find the path to the view, it's a great place to start. Every day, take another step, work towards that view, get moving, bit by bit. Now and then, stop and look how far you've come. Take a breath, then go again.

Thanks for reading,

Tony


For anyone struggling with their metal health: https://mentalhealth-uk.org/get-involved/mental-health-awareness-days/

Or the Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/